Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Killing Cockcroaches and Growing

It's amazing how much we all have grown.
The good. The bad.
When we look ourselves in the mirror, and look ourselves as how much we have changed. What do we find? The same eyes looking back at us seven..eight years ago? We were different then. Most of us are taller, smarter, and sometimes even stronger than before.
When we look ourselves in years-old  photographs, reminiscent of old memories and life captured in pictures revisiting us like old friends who we used to know. Our younger versions of ourselves smiling, laughing, or simply just rolling their eyes. Perhaps we are different. Than ourselves. Because lets admit it time changes us all, it depends on us how it affects our lives.

Today, I killed a cockroach. I remember my 10-year old self white-faced when faced with the most dreadful sight, as I saw it. Stunned and electrified I stood, unmovable. Often I used to close the lights of the room and run away from it, and would take refuge to another room, serving as my escapade.
But today, I killed it. It was an instinctive act, one that involved voluntarily picking up my sandal and throwing at the insect. And Squash! It just lay there splattered against the marble tiled floor. Dead.
Call me crazy, but I can't help but wonder that maybe I have grown stronger, but alongside that even to some extent merciless. Facing fears, is a thing time takes to a toll. Sometimes, maybe we just have to realize that we all come out of our shells and face the world. Eventually. Because time changes. Nothing is constant. 'The beauty of this world is past change' right? Everything is perceptible in nature. Everything decays and dies, I guess. But in this process we are constantly changing, adapting, learning from our experiences and growing. Because I'm afraid as much as we all want to remain young, we all have to grow. And to that we have no choice, as it is reality. And the truth.
..So when I slayed this cockroach, I saw myself
But beneath that something else.
I saw a different person.
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(P.S you are not the only one laughing while reading this)